Sunday, March 13, 2005

Embracing Imperfection

Call me crazy, but I'm giving up's just not working for me.
Instead, I'm thinking I'll become a professed imperfectionist (is that a word?).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not TRYING to be BAD...I'm just giving up trying to be perfect.
Good & happy is good enough for me from now on. See, I've learned a few things recently
(Chemo did a number on my memory, I think I'm only just beginning to remember what I learned :-P).
Two of my favorite mantras have become "It's all part of the journey," and "Eternity NOW!"
The second might require some explanation. I used to think I was a patient person...
I have since had children and realized that I'm not even CLOSE to being patient
(like I said, I'm embracing imperfection :-) My impatience led me to an interesting realization.
See we, as Christians, have been promised eternal life.. I always assumed that "eternity" began after you died, but John the Baptist said the Kingdom of God is "at hand," and well, I'm pretty close to my hand...attached to it, in fact.
I think the Kingdom of God is a lot closer than we might realize. Who's to say we have to wait for death to start living eternally? What if it's..."all part of the (same) journey? I'm all for being a "goal oriented" person...but when you look at life from an "eternal" perspective the goal of perfection is such a long way away that it just makes more sense to slow down and enjoy the scenery...and take time to, well, develop some patience.

Don't think I'm preaching here, I'm not trying to reform anyone else..just me.
I am professing my imperfection to the world, so you all can hold me accountable.
If you come to visit & my house is spotless, then my kids have probably been put second place to the laundry & the dishes.
If my house is spotless, then I have probably worked myself to exhaustion & am a MISERABLE person to be around.
I have learned that I CAN'T handle it all and am hereby giving myself permission not to.
Don't let me slip up here-life's a lot more fun when it doesn't have to be "perfect."

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Finding the good...

Good things about having Cancer:

Knowing people are praying for us & being able to see those prayers work in our lives.

Catching up with old friends

Loosing my hair
-not having to shave
-saving a ton on hair care products
-being able to put on a wig that's already styled instead of spending 30 minutes getting my hair out of my face

Having an excuse, permission & even encouragement to rest when I'm tired & take time for myself (btw, something every woman should have regardless, but many don't & others, including myself sometimes, don't take when it's offered)

Learning that I deserve to be spoiled sometimes-even when I'd rather "do it myself."

Learning that it's OK to ask for help, that help often comes from unexpected people & that the people you expected to help sometimes don't.

Learning the true meaning of "Life isn't fair, but God is good."

The joy of being SO thankful, for friends & family, for the kindness of complete strangers, for the amazing & unexplainable feeling of holding your child, for trees & clouds, blue sky & rain, for every big & little thing that I know I'll never take for granted again.